Ai 愛

"What does it matter where you are? Even if this place is such a paradise, wouldn't you rather be in the worst place on Earth if it meant being with family?"
Translated quote from Shirareta Sekai 1 – The Return of Layhar

Name	Ai 愛
Race	Elf
Age	15 / 16
Gender	Female
Year of Birth	The year of the Metal Dog, 庚戌 kanoe-inu
Country of Birth	Ōkoku
Profession	–
MBTI type	INFJ
Family	Kazumi (mother) † Katsu (father) †
Religion	Belief in the elven gods

Ai was Character of the Month February 2021 in the Zilverboekenclub on Facebook. Get to know her a little better in this interview:

My name is Ai.

The kind of being I am / what I look like / my likeable traits

I'm an elf, characterized by my white hair, pointy ears, purple eyes and white skin. I'm skinny due to being alone in the woods for years. When it comes to clothing, I wear whatever's available to me; it doesn't really matter as long as it covers me adequately. Especially in the winter I need the warmth.

My likeable traits? That's a tough question. I'd like to say I'm a good person, like my parents. I'm just not sure if I believe that myself. I don't consider myself to be a bad person. I really do mean well, but that doesn't mean I'm proud of everything I've done. I try to change, though. Now that I have found a purpose, I want to go all in. Maybe I can prove to myself that I'm more than just a wandering soul trying to survive.

What do you want most / what is your biggest desire?

More than anything, I would like the past few years to have never happened and to wake up tomorrow morning next to my parents. However, there is no point in dreaming of that. They are no longer here and that fact has been made painfully clear to me by now. This world seems to hold no place for me anymore, as if, according to Fate, my life should have ended the day we were attacked and I haven't really existed since then. Still I secretly cherish the hope that someday I will find a home somewhere in the world. For a while I had that place, a place where I was welcome, but I gave that up... I really hope I didn't do that in vain.

Who or what pushes you to persevere were an other might give up?

Chimata. That's the name of the fox who has been following me since I hid in the forest years ago and kept waiting for my parents who never came. He is the one who always pushes me to the limit to stay alive. He has made me do terrible things... When I struggle too much, he helps me by numbing my emotions. If it weren't for him, I would have died a long time ago. He is always eager to remind me of that. He calls me a stupid child and is often mean, but he keeps me safe. He takes action when I freeze, and he demands of me that I be more than the helpless child he regards me as. I am grateful for his help and companionship and at the same time I am afraid of him and don't want him near me. Is it just me or is he getting scarier and scarier? Especially since I know he's... Never mind, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

For whom or what would you sacrifice your life if that were your last choice?

I would not sacrifice my life for just anyone, but I would for thousands of innocent souls. Five hundred years ago they fell prey to the Purification and that terrible event is now threatening to take place again. Everyone will travel to the heavens and only those who are lucky will return as a rain of stars. The rest of the souls will die. Is it arrogant to think I can do anything about that? Maybe, but I should at least try. I haven't felt such a strong urge in years to do something that would endanger my own life. Saving those souls is now my main goal. How great it feels to have a goal!

Ai appears in the following books: